![]() It didn't seem to me to be hard to write jokes. While I was going to USC to get my masters degree, my brother and the other Bob Hope writers would sometimes gather in my brother's house. they were just organizing the Bob Hope writing team. My brother, who had just gotten a job on The Bob Hope Show. I'm talking the depths of the depression. I figured, "Well, I'm going to get another degree, and maybe with a masters degree, I'll be able to get into a medical school." This happened in New York. I came out West. I had no money. Doctors will deny that existed, but I saw the book because one the principals at some college said to me, "We're very sorry, you have the grades and all." So, I was out of there. But they thought otherwise and they severely limited the amount of Jewish students that could get into medical school. I guess this was about nineteen thirty-eight. Jews only account for two percent of the population and twenty-five percent of the doctors are Jewish!" Like it makes a difference to you if you're having brain surgery whether the doctor is Chinese or Indian or Jewish or anything else. The AMA in its infinite stupidity said, "There are too many Jewish doctors. Well, here's some dirty laundry if you want to hear it. ![]() Well, first you have to go through medical school. A wonderful book about doctors who had saved millions of people like Louis Pasteur and whats-his-name who discovered X-Rays. I wanted to be that kind of doctor. My plans were to get a medical degree. I went to pre-med. I did not want to become a regular doctor. I wanted to do research kind of doctoring. I read a book which influenced my whole life called Microbe Hunters. The only way he would have at getting back at me is to fire you - because you're my brother." I just want out." I said to my brother who had just replaced Jess Goldstein, "Al, when I leave, you're going to be fired." Al said, "Why? Why would he fire me?" I said, "Because Red Skelton is about five years old emotionally. ![]() I said, "No, no, I don't want more money. I was always able to get money wherever I went. So I said, "I'm leaving!" They said, "We'll add another writer to the staff! We'll give you more money!" Well, money has never been an incentive for me. If you're number one, they want to keep you there. They don't know if it's the writing or the acting. They said, "Wait, wait, wait!" We were number one at the time and they didn't want to lose number one. And in all his interviews he refers very depricatingly to writers in general and his own in particular." And I said, "I'm not going to be here anymore." And I said goodbye. So the next day I went to CBS and I said, "Goodbye." I said, "I've taken a lot of verbal abuse from Red. But he never was involved in a writer's meeting. Some evenings he was responsible for ten percent of the jokes or thirty percent or whatever he happened to change. Frequently he would introduce them into a script, which bothered us. He had been the executive producer of his own show and fancied himself a writer because he remembered old jokes. That was a tough one for him to sign, an agreement like that. , it said in my contract that I would never have to have a meeting with Red Skelton. I became kind of a show doctor for CBS for a couple of years. So they called me in to see what was wrong with the show and if I could fix it. That show started on a high-note and then started to drift. At that time I was kind of a show doctor for CBS if they were having problems with a show. ![]() It was a rough week, our week in the barrel. Here you have seventy pairs of eyes staring at you while you're trying to think of something. That's enormous pressure for a writer that is used to being in the room with another writer or by himself. Sometimes, she would be doing a scene, and she would say, "I need a line." Then, the stage would be quiet for a moment, seventy-five production people were scattered around the stage, and you had to get a better line or a better blackout. Where one of us had to be on the stage while the other two continued to write next week's script. I was one of three writers on the Joan Davis show and so, we always referred to that as our week in the barrel. She wanted to be able to turn to somebody and say, "I need a better line" or "Give me a better blackout." So, there were three writers. She refused to do the show unless a writer was on the premises, on the stage. She had one great virtue which became a problem. Sherwood Schwartz: She was a tough broad, as they say.
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